Recently my daughter paid me a high compliment by selecting me as the subject of an essay about a women she considered a hero. At one point in the process she came home and asked, “my teacher asked what kind of therapist you are” and I answered, naturally. The final product came home about a week later and the first two lines went something like this:
“My mom is my hero. She is a psycho therapist.”
I had to laugh. Ah yes, I most definitely can be a psycho psychotherapist…and a psycho mom, a psycho wife, and certainly a psycho friend. So there, in the midst of that great feeling of mother-pride, I was also contemplating what goes along with it.
Life is a mixture of awkward transformation, acute distress, and yes, “psycho” moments. I’m often pretty intolerant of the process, I want my daughter’s essay to reveal only my strengths and talents, not inadvertently expose the reality of my life!
In the words of Teihard de Chardin:
“Give the Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you. And accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.”
How well do I do with accepting that anxiety? Frankly, I don’t like being in suspense and incomplete. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. At times, it can feel humiliating. I don’t like not knowing answers and not being an expert. I don’t like the bewildering feeling of being stumped or unsure. Often, I feel I ought to be past that by this point in life. But as far as being a psycho therapist….well, staying in the anxiety of incompleteness is all a part of the human experience, no matter what your vocation.
For Chardin’s complete prayer, click here.